


what are enemies for

by jdphoenix



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 11:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5204501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdphoenix/pseuds/jdphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her job done, she’s meant to close up the hole, opaque the barrier, and leave, but the heaviness she’s been carrying the last few days is weighing on her and she has the absurd feeling <i>this</i> is where she’ll best be able to unload her burden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what are enemies for

**Author's Note:**

> Though there's nothing graphic, there is a subject matter warning in the end note because it contains spoilers.

The first man was shot thrice in the chest and died near instantly. The second has bruising on his face as well as defensive wounds on his arms, but the shattered glass found in the remains of his trachea rather firmly identifies his cause of death. The third is the one that gives Jemma pause.

She doubts there’s a single bone in his right hand that isn’t broken and part of his spine is actually jutting out from his back. He has numerous shallow cuts on his body, none deep enough to allow him to bleed out, but plenty deep to cause significant pain. Especially with the salt she’s discovered rubbed into a few of them. 

“Sick,” Bobbi says.

Jemma steps back from the table. She hasn’t had any visitors all day - no one much likes being in the lab when she’s performing autopsies - and it makes her a little self-conscious now.

Bobbi though, is a scientist herself, and can view the corpse from a place of detachment. That defense doesn’t stop her disgust from showing through.

“Ward really took his time with this guy, huh?” She picks up the man’s license, the one left almost purposefully in the front pocket of his jacket, from the table on which Jemma has carefully laid his personal effects. “Any way we can positively ID him as this Lee Purdell?”

“Yes,” Jemma says, her eyes carefully averted from the mangled remains of his face. “The fingerprint on the card matches his.”

“Good.” Bobbi pockets the ID. “I’d like to know who I’m asking about when I go downstairs.”

“Asking about?”

“Yep. Coulson wants to know what had Ward so crazy over this Purdell guy, and since Bakshi’s our only witness, it’s on my list. Anything you want me to say to him?”

Jemma shakes her head. “No.” She’d rather not think about Bakshi down in Vault D, or Bakshi at all, really.

Bobbi waves her way out the door and once again Jemma is alone with the dead.

She really is getting better. Bobbi was on her way to an interrogation, she’ll naturally be keyed up to spot any deception, but she didn’t even pause over Jemma’s false assurance.

Purdell’s death was a long time coming, but the final cause was repeated blows to the head - specifically his face - with a blunt, metal instrument Jemma is tentatively identifying as a crowbar, but she doesn’t need to see his face to know who he is.

The cause of death determined, she covers the body. Her eyes catch on the left forearm, its shark tattoo the only part of his arm not covered by an uneven, bloody grid, and on the ragged scar that slashes across his collarbone. Her stomach doesn’t churn, but it does feel curiously hollow as he disappears beneath the sheet.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Jemma opens a single square in the barrier holding Ward inside his cell. “Arm,” she demands._

_He hands it over without protest, making no complaint as she readies it for a blood draw. The protocol she drew up when Coulson told her Ward would be staying indefinitely requires one every three months, and this one is overdue thanks to her time undercover._

_“Thank you,” he says._

_She lifts an eyebrow in his direction. She doesn’t typically get thanked for poking holes in people._

_He shifts his hand slightly in her grasp, just enough to draw attention to the ugly scar without jarring the needle. “For saving my life.”_

_“I was following orders. It was nothing personal.”_

_He chuckles as she removes the needle and replaces it with a cotton swab. He doesn’t have to be ordered to pull his arm back through the hole and fingers the bandage. “You’ve gotten better at lying,” he says._

_She closes her fist around the vial and turns her back on him to replace her supplies in the toolkit. The first time he ever praised her, he’d just saved her life. Now she knows it was just another of his carefully crafted manipulations. Everything he did was part of his cover, none of it was real. Training Skye, bonding with Coulson, joking with her and Fitz, sleeping with May…_

_She secures the box and reaches for the tablet on its stand. Her job done, she’s meant to close up the hole, opaque the barrier, and leave, but the heaviness she’s been carrying the last few days is weighing on her and she has the absurd feeling_ this _is where she’ll best be able to unload her burden._

_She taps the key to close the hole, but instead of leaving, turns to sit in the chair with her kit on her lap._

_Ward’s smile grows._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

News of Ward’s family is sweeping through the Playground when Coulson invites her to his office. He allows her to go in ahead of him and closes the door behind her.

“Is everything all right, sir?”

Coulson stops midstep and they share a rather sad smile. It’s a silly question; nothing’s been “all right” since even before HYDRA rose up.

“But no,” he says, sitting on the edge of his desk, “this isn’t anything urgent.”

That, Jemma thinks as she tentatively takes a chair facing him, might actually be worse.

“Before he tried to commit suicide, Bobbi had the chance to ask Bakshi about Purdell, about why Ward went after him the way he did.”

Jemma’s skin goes cold.

“He said we should ask you.” Coulson’s using that fatherly voice of his and it makes her want to squirm like she’s been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

She wishes now that she hadn’t been so determined not to think about Bakshi. If she’d watched the security footage of the interrogation, she would know precisely what he said about her. As it is, she can only tell the truth.

“I knew Purdell,” she says, “when I was undercover inside HYDRA. He was often on guard duty around the labs. He must have had a promotion to have been on Bakshi’s personal detail.”

“Why didn’t you tell us when you ID’d him?”

She shrugs hopelessly. “I didn’t think it bore mentioning. He was one of several guards I saw regularly.”

“You don’t have any idea why Ward would have gone after him?”

She shakes her head and tells herself it’s the truth. “Perhaps they knew each other? Bakshi might have thought that since I knew Ward I would have known about the connection.”

Coulson nods, but doesn’t seem satisfied. “Maybe. Or maybe Ward just didn’t like the way he looked. We really can’t know anything about what he’s thinking at this point.”

He looks over her head and Jemma knows the news footage of the fire must be replaying.

“He’s unstable,” he says finally, pulling his attention back to her, “and everyone will be a lot safer once he’s no longer a threat.”

It’s a benign enough statement, but Jemma has the distinct impression the orders on Ward have changed with the recent news. They won’t be so eager to bring him in alive.

“Sorry to waste your time,” Coulson says, trying for a less dire tone. “I’ll let you go.”

“It’s all right. I’m sorry I couldn’t help.”

Jemma leaves the office quickly and forcibly keeps her focus from drifting to the screen. Guilt claws at her as she makes her way back to the labs, but she tells herself repeatedly that it doesn’t matter. Ward _is_ unstable. That he had a reason for what he did doesn’t make the act itself any more rational.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_“Something you wanna talk about?” he asks amicably._

_She curls her fingers around the hard edge of the case. “How do you reconcile it? The … unpleasant things you do for your cover.”_

_His smile falls and he steps closer to the barrier. “Simmons. The things I did on the Bus- I won’t insult your intelligence by telling you they were_ all _real, but eventually, yeah. They were. We were friends. And I hope we’ll be again.”_

_She shakes her head, uninterested in his lies. “I’m not talking about that. This isn’t about your crimes. I’m talking about- about things like May and- and Lorelei.”_

_This time he falls back a step and stares like she’s struck him. “Lorelei wasn’t part of my cover.” She hasn’t heard him talk like this in a long time. Every interrogation Coulson clears for viewing, she watches, so she’s heard plenty of what he’s had to say since he was moved here, but not once in all that time has he used this particular tone. It’s darker and angrier than anything he’s allowed himself lately._

_She should probably be proud that she was able to draw a real reaction from him. It only makes her heart heavier._

_“But it happened while you were undercover. Didn’t that make it, I don’t know, different? Didn’t that make it just another thing you had to endure for the mission?”_

_He looks furious and she feels fear for a brief second before remembering there’s a barrier between them. His eyes waver on her, hunting every inch of her for some answer to a question he hasn’t asked. Whatever it is, the answer he finds has his expression softening. He touches the spot of cotton on his arm with two fingers from his right hand._

_“Where have you been, Simmons?” he asks softly._

_Her feet curl under the chair. “What do you mean? If you think I’m going to tell you about SHIELD missions-”_

_“I don’t think you were on missions. I think you were on_ one _. You were supposed to take that blood sample twenty-two days ago, it’s not like you to forget. And you’ve gotten better at lying - a lot better.” He tips his head to one side, curiosity fading to pity. “Where have you been?”_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bakshi’s nearly ready to return to the Vault. Jemma has confirmed no less than three times that there are no more hidden surprises and now has only to do his final check-up to ensure he’s recovered enough to be left on his own.

“Still nothing to say?” he asks as she looks over his heart monitor.

“Not unless it’s in regards to your health.” They’ve had similar exchanges every day since he recovered his ability to speak. In the early days, he would accuse her of enjoying having him at her mercy or insult her by claiming he should have known she was a mole or even that he always knew. When that didn’t work, he painted horrible pictures of what was done to Kenneth before she was discovered.

Her lack of reaction has worn him down to the point that now he does little more than mutter foul words under his breath when she confirms she won’t be partaking in conversation. Likely she should. He’s here to be interrogated, after all, and if he’s willing to talk to her… But interrogation isn’t something she’s ever been trained for and she’d really rather finish with him as soon as possible.

“How about someone else’s health?” Bakshi asks with a smile that promises horrible things.

Her fingers freeze over her final report on his progress and her breath hitches while she waits for him to continue. If he’s threatening someone on the base…

“You should have heard the way he screamed. Ward kept him alive for _hours_.”

Goosebumps rise in a wave over Jemma’s skin and she swallows down a lump in her throat.

“Every time I thought it was over, he’d finally killed him, poor Purdell would cry out again. And you know? I think that only made it worse. Every time he whimpered or begged, that only made Ward more vicious.”

Jemma has seen Ward fight, seen him in the midst of the berserker rage. She knows what he’s like when he’s at his deadliest. It’s all too easy for her mind to supply her with images of him standing over an already broken Purdell, inflicting more and more damage.

Bakshi’s dry laugh breaks through her thoughts. She blinks - she didn’t even know she’d closed her eyes.

“You really are too innocent to be a spy,” he says. “Coulson’s lucky Morse was able to save you - though not from everything." He looks her over from head to toes and back again. “They really don’t know, do they? Morse seemed completely flummoxed when I mentioned your name in conjunction with his.” He laughs again. “You’re all fools.”

“And you,” Jemma says - there’s a tremor in her voice, but her tone is hard enough to hide the worst of it, “are cleared to return to Vault D. Enjoy your stay.”

She walks out and doesn’t look back.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_The lie is on the tip of her tongue. She’s gotten so good at telling them lately, she tells them every day. Lying to Ward should be no different than lying to people who really matter. Yet somehow it’s the truth that slips out._

_“HYDRA,” she says softly. “I was undercover in HYDRA.”_

_Ward stares for long seconds before stumbling away to pace furiously. If he hadn’t lost his privileges by attempting suicide so often, she imagines he’d be throwing what few personal effects he used to have._

_Once or twice he begins to speak, but stops himself. When he finally returns to the line, he isn’t_ composed _precisely, but he’s pulled himself more or less together. “Did we kill him?”_

_Jemma doesn’t bother to question his presumption that he’s still part of any “we” that includes members of SHIELD. He laughs harshly at the look on her face._

_“No one knows, do they? You didn’t tell- Fuck!_ Simmons _. You didn’t want it to jeopardize the mission.”_

_“It was important,” she says weakly. “And he provided me with protection.”_

_Ward’s expression darkens again. “So it wasn’t just-”_

_“No,” she says quickly. “It wasn’t just the once.”_

_He drags a hand down his face. “All right. I’m gonna tell you something really important, okay? And you’re not gonna want to believe me because it’s gonna be hard and because you just hate me right now, but it’s the truth.”_

_“I’m not a child.”_

_His mouth tips up on one side. “I know. But you’re stubborn and you gotta hear this from someone.” His expression grows serious. “It was real. It happened. That it happened while you were undercover doesn’t make it any less real and you’re gonna have to deal with it eventually.”_

_He’s right. She doesn’t want to believe him. She wants to pretend that it happened to some other Jemma, one who truly worked for HYDRA and was terrible and not like Jemma herself at all._

_Perhaps that’s why she asks what she does._

_“How did you deal with Lorelei?”_

_“I killed a bunch of people,” he deadpans._

_She probably should have seen that coming. This was a bad idea. She stands, eager to get away from him._

_“Simmons,” he calls before she can turn the barrier opaque. “What’s his name?”_

_She hesitates, unsure of why he could possibly want it._

_“We both know I’m not gonna be down here forever and you wouldn’t be talking to me about this if you were ever gonna tell the others. So tell me his name.”_

_There’s a promise in his voice, a terrible one that she has ample evidence he’s capable of delivering on. And he’s right again. She_ does _know this cell won’t hold him indefinitely. If she gives him what he wants, she knows, in general terms at least, what the end result will be. She’ll be condemning a man._

_“Jemma.”_

_“Lee Purdell. His name is Lee Purdell.”_

_She opaques the barrier on his determined smile._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Ward’s focus is on Skye - and her newfound powers - while he pushes Jemma down to cover her from the gunfire. Jemma hasn’t had the chance to see them herself, but she isn’t similarly distracted by the display. Her attention is all on Ward.

She doesn’t know what Coulson is thinking, bringing him back into the fold, even temporarily. He’s a monster. That much has been obvious since she discovered Eric Koenig’s body. It isn’t changed by his tenderness with Agent Palamas or his willingness to help them hurt HYDRA or even the instinctive way he protects her. He’s evil.

“Okay, we’re good,” Skye says.

Ward is the first one up and behind Jemma, Bakshi hurries to follow suit. And that’s real, living proof of just how far Ward will go. He _brainwashed_ the man, tortured him for who knows how long even knowing what the process did to Kara. He’s _sick_.

“Simmons?” Skye sounds worried. Jemma forces herself to rise, but stalls when Ward’s hand appears in front of her face. Skye snorts and moves ahead to see that they’re clear.

Gingerly, Jemma takes the hand. Ward is very strong and she’s on her feet again before she even realizes he’s pulled.

Bakshi’s already gone on ahead, leaving her alone with a man who, as Coulson reminded them all at the start of this mission, is still wildly unpredictable. None of them have any idea where his head is at or even where it’s _been_. Jemma should be eager to escape from him, and _is_ , but there’s something she needs to see finished first.

Before he can drop her hand, she catches his wrist and slides her fingers up the inside of his arm, along the path of the scars hidden by his sleeve. He goes still, belying the teasing tilt to his smile.

“Something you wanna say, Simmons?” he asks.

Her fingers stop at the inside of his elbow and she leaves them there. “Thank you.”

The smile disappears. He nods once, strangely solemn for him. His free hand cups her elbow and it’s a familiar comfort.

From up ahead, Skye calls for them, worried Jemma’s in trouble.

“We’re coming!” Ward snaps and follows the sound of her voice. He throws an ugly grin over his shoulder. “Sorry I couldn’t make it last longer.”

He means it to frighten her. It doesn’t.

“Me too,” she says softly, though he‘s already too far away to hear. She follows him on ahead.

 

**Author's Note:**

>  **Warning:** References to past rape.


End file.
